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Esoteric Lucubrations

"go be repairmen"

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Arthur and Kevin's Nellorat
21 January 1957
External Services:
  • nellorat@livejournal.com
  • nellorat@livejournal.com
If you know me, please don't use my real name. I don't expect anonymity (I'm not that stupid), but I'd like to make it harder for clients and employers to locate this by just googling my name.

I'm 52, fat (fat-n-sassy, not fat-n-miserable), female, a teacher and occasional writer and living in a triad with Arthur (supergee) and Kevin (womzilla). We are childfree by choice, but we are human companions to a fluctuating one-to-two-digit number of pet fancy rats, all rescues. I'm intellectually tenacious, even aggressive, but laid-back, even lazy, about everything else, although I do love sex.

In an alternate world, I probably became a biology teacher. In this one, I'll take on almost anything having to do with English language and literature. I'm very glad to be able to make a living doing things that I enjoy, that I am good at, and that pay well per hour. Most things interest me. I work at a Korean-American academy that students attend after school, on weekends, and on holidays/vacations; this schedule led to my dubbing myself "bizarro teacher": bizarro teacher am busy while others rests, am resting while others busy.

My religion is a wonky kind of Christianity, influenced by early-modern neo-Platonism and Hermeticism.
A quote from Gerard Manley Hopkins:

Awáy grief's gásping, | joyless days, dejection.
Across my foundering deck shone
A beacon, an eternal beam. | Flesh fade, and mortal trash
Fáll to the resíduary worm; | world's wildfire, leave but ash:
In a flash, at a trumpet crash,
I am all at once what Christ is |, since he was what I am, and
Thís Jack, jóke, poor pótsherd, | patch, matchwood, immortal diamond,
Is immortal diamond.

And one from Steve Earle:

Well maybe I'm only dreamin' and maybe I'm just a fool
But I don't remember learnin' how to hate in Sunday school

The two may well sum up all I have of doctrine, though not all my beliefs.
alan moore, albert fish, alchemy, alice cooper, apocalyptic death cults, armadillos, biblical scholarship, blondie, bonnie koloc, breyer model horses, c.s. lewis, cannibalism, cats, cattle mutilation, celestial decorations, charles manson, charles williams, christianity, christopher smart, comic books, cooking, cow parade, cows, csi, david bowie, david cronenberg, david lynch, disaster movies, documentaries, donna barr, e.s.p., ed gein, editing, elvis costello, emergent diseases, eminem, enya, erotica, fandom, fat acceptance, fat activism, feminism, footloose, franz kafka, friendly porn movies, futurama, gardening, gender, genesis, george herbert, george romero, gerard manley hopkins, glittery dresses, grammar, grant morrison, h.p. lovecraft, health at every size, henry darger, henry vaughan, hermann hesse, hermeticism, hoppity hooper, horror movies, illuminatus!, indian food, international conference/fantastic/arts (icfa), invader zim, jeffrey dahmer, john cale, john crowley, john donne, john keel, john waters, jorge luis borges, leonard cohen, liminality, literature, living in a triad, making jewelry, mangoes, meditation, men in black, mental illness memoirs, monk (tv), my hair dyed red, mysticism, mythcon, neo-platonism, nonfiction by mary roach, nuclear war, other people’s children, oversized t-shirts, parasites, paul winter, pervert barbie dolls, pet rats, peter gabriel, peter straub, philip k. dick, polyamory, prayer, psi, pythagorus, ramsey campbell, rats, reading in bed, religious visions, richard shaver, richard thompson, rocky and bullwinkle, romantic-era literature, s.t. coleridge, sat prep, science fiction, science-fiction conventions, science-fiction research associations (sfra), serial killers, seventeenth-century literature, sexual equality, sir thomas browne, spongebob squarepants, spontaneous human combustion, stephen king, stuffed animals, synchronicity, t.s. eliot, teaching, thai food, the forbidden zone, the inklings, the power puff girls, the x-files, they might be giants, thomas traherne, tim powers, traveling wilburys, true crime, ufos, urban folklore, vegan eating, william blake, writing, x-men, y.a./children’s literature, ‘60s psychedelic music, ‘80s new wave/pop

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